Exchange: 11 Months Later

It's difficult to gauge the impact of exchange on daily life until after it's over and you've lived life outside of it. And once you do, you come to realize just how incredibly imprinted you are by your experience. The effect isn't always so obvious either. Of course, speaking with Thai people at Thai restaurants or seeing something explicitly Thai instantaneously brightens my day, but it's the subtle impacts that really catch me. Being able to view almost everything now with cultural relativism is the greatest effect of my exchange. I don't find myself pulled to one side versus another of social/political issues, mine and others' emotions, or controversial concepts. It is so easy now for me to put myself in another's shoes and view something like they would. That's something you truly don't understand until you're displaced into another part of the world and are forced to adapt. In addition, and this fact also correlates with being able to view the world with cultural relativism, I find myself so much more consistently calm, collected, and prepared. Emergencies do not phase me. Stress motivates me. I tend to lead in intense situations. When us YES Abroad students were abroad, we had to think on our feet. We sometimes had to make split-second decisions, and sometimes those decisions were big ones. There wasn't always someone there to hold our hand in choosing what direction of life we were going to go next.

This kaleidoscopic year was a bridge in which our paths in learning how to become autonomous adults was put on hyperdrive. And now that we're almost one year post-return, I don't know many people our age that are more mature, intelligent, open-minded, driven, or tenacious. I am in awe when I see what my fellow alumni are doing with their lives. One visit to Facebook takes you on a tour around the world. YES Abroad alumni have literally stepped foot on all 7 continents, explored countries you never even knew existed, assisted in major global health efforts, met and discussed with so many powerful members of our government and governments abroad, advocated for social justice for those underrepresented and disenfranchised, learned a plethora of foreign languages, won hundreds of thousands of dollars in forms of research grants and scholarships, attend(ed) the best of the best universities, continued the legacy of study abroad with further study abroad during college, and lastly but most importantly, sacrificed so much valuable time to bettering the world we live in.

We all share at least one thing in common. We are all hyper-adventure seekers who possess these vagabond hearts & minds that aren't satisfied with complacency, stagnancy, or the status quo. I became a part of the YES Abroad family 2 years ago before my program even began, and it's been such an exciting roller coaster with everyone so far. I exponentially learn every single day from my fellow alumni and current programmers. I truly appreciate the privilege of gaining global knowledge every single day; not everyone has access to that. I am so proud of our accomplishments and I know we will keep working so incredibly hard to impact the world just as it has impacted us. Alone, our accomplishments don't seem too big or meaningful, but together, we're already bettering this world in such a huge way.

20 years from today? I can't even begin to imagine where we'll be.

Until next time,
Brandon

Exchange Never Ends

     My life has carried on for almost 6 months following my return to the United States, but I continue to struggle with post-exchange reintegration and blues.

     A lot has happened in my life since May 15th, 2015. I graduated, moved to Chicago, and began college at Loyola University Chicago (Go Ramblers!). I'm majoring in Political Science and International Studies on the Pre-Law track. I'm still debating about a possible third major or a couple of minors; there's almost too many interesting subjects to even make a choice! My mind is ever-expanding from all of the flooding knowledge, and opportunities for my life both personally and professionally are popping up all around me. Countless new friends have entered my life and I've made several close relationships. Life seems to be going a million miles an hour (kind of like exchange). And, any time I feel like I need a break from college life, I remind myself of how lucky I am to be attending university in such a magnificent city with the support that I have. Not everyone has what I have; that's a sentiment I wholeheartedly learned while living abroad. 

     I think about Thailand every day. The experience as a whole affects almost every aspect of my daily life. It's 100% true that regardless of how one's exchange went, a little (or large) piece of that culture will forever become grafted into you. It's incredibly difficult when nobody around actually understands how impactful living abroad was to you. Looking back, I've never felt happier than as an exchange student. It wasn't because of lack of obligation, the immense freedom and carefreelessness I possessed, or the exhilaration of living in a foreign country. My great uncomfortability was the greatest factor in my overall happiness, ironically. Believe me, it was an interesting paradox to me as well when I realized it. Living life almost entirely out of my pre-exchange comfort zone made life itself incredibly interesting! Outside of my comfort zone was the place in which I learned the most Thai, ate the strangest things for the first time, gained the most cultural knowledge, and fostered the strongest relationships with my family and friends. While abroad, I was thrown into new experiences whether I wanted to be or not. Although I didn't appreciate the uncomfortability then, I definitely do now. 

     College is the place where you learn to establish that "uncomfortability" on your own. I have struggled with that a bit, as do many other students, and now I'm recognizing what I need to do to experience an even better college career. It's far too easy to fall into routine in college and forget that life exists outside of your 12x14 dorm room. It's also far too easy to become so entrenched in college life that you forget life exists outside if your campus/city. It's also possible to experience both of those at the same time, even in the same day.

     I recognize that there remains so much that I want to achieve in life, many things in which I can begin working on today. I have the tools to achieve my goals, so what's stopping me? It remains a challenge to me to remember that my exchange is over... it's now a memory. I continue to crave that "carefree" life that comes with living in a foreign country, but that's not my reality anymore. Many times, as this reminder rolls through my head, I become quite confused and upset. But, I'm almost at that point where I can finally let go of the irrationality and truly utilize the tools my exchange gave me to lead the life I want to live. 

     There's a lot of life to live, and living in Chicago has really shown me that just as much as living in Thailand showed me. Work hard to chase your dreams, and work even harder at the obstructions that are blocking you from achieving your dreams. 

Until next time,

Brandon 

     

The Emotional Rollercoaster that is 'Going Home'

     As I write today, I have 2 weeks left in my country. 2 more weeks of exploration. 2 more weeks of aggravating my palette with new and exciting tastes. 2 more weeks of finding myself and what I believe in. 2 more weeks of cherishing moments with my host family. 2 more weeks of speaking my newly-acquired language on a daily basis... I could go on forever. The past week and most likely the next 2 weeks have been/will be the most painful and difficult 3 weeks of my exchange. I am a complete emotional wreck; I've never quite felt like this before. This blended concoction of satisfaction, confusion, pure bliss, anxiety, love, and sadness that I am feeling perfectly captures my feelings throughout this past year. There is no one single word to explain how exchange students feel during these critical, last few weeks or throughout the entirety of their year abroad. One thing is certain: my life is about to be turned upside down once again in just 2 weeks.

     What I may be most confused about is how I will easily integrate back into a life not completely obsessed with exchange. For the past three years my life consisted of connection with past, present, and future exchange students. I would listen to music, close my eyes, and daydream about my daily adventures while on exchange. These dreams kept me going. They kept me occupied. They gave me a purpose and a will to keep pushing so hard with my academics. When I finally received the YES Abroad scholarship 2 years later, I was over the moon. I have lived and continue to live the daydreams that I once had... they've come true. What will my life be consumed with now that my exchange will be just a memory? It really is frightening to me. What I do know is that when I wake up every day and have the privilege of connecting with people from all over the world with just a few taps of my thumb, everything was 100% worth it, and everything will be okay.

     Many non-exchange students may be thinking: "But Brandon... you just spent a year on vacation in Thailand. It must have been so fun! What was difficult about it? Why will returning home be so hard?" My Instagram, Facebook, & Twitter really only show one side of my life here. As exchange students, we're obligated to project our positive experiences on social media, not the negative. There is enough negativity on social media these days, and my mission is to try to uplift someone's day, make them smile, and inspire them through what I post. I'm incredibly proud and humbled that so many people now look up to me and tell me that on a daily basis. However, it must be understood that my life here is not everything you see on social media. I'm not riding elephants everyday or marveling over the Bangkok skyline all the time. Many days are so frustrating that you just want to get away, and that's when irrational judgements and stupid mistakes get made. Sometimes, somebody makes a rude comment about your appearance and it sours your entire day. Other days, you feel so alone that all you can do is sob yourself to sleep to the blissful sounds of Lana Del Rey. What you see online stands a small representation of who I am and what I do. As much as the positive experiences shape my life, so do the negative experiences. I learn from all of my experiences, and I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

     These next 2 weeks, I am determined to truly live it up as much as I can. No street food vendor will be shunned, and no pair of elephant will remain unpurchased. 2 weeks may seem like a short time, but for exchange students, it's an eternity.

Until next time,
Brandon

70 Days Till Departure & Reflecting Back

70 days till I leave my home here in Thailand for my home in America.

Where did the time go? I seriously only have 2 months till I go back to AMERICA? I'm almost positive that I'm being lied to and actually have more time. We'll see about that.

What I may miss most about Thailand:
beautiful temples everywhere you look.
Pictured: Doi Suthep Temple, Chiang Mai

As I've said before, journaling is an important aspect of exchange for me. Journaling provides a written log of my experiences I can reflect back upon (which I am now doing!). To future exchange student and all YES Abroad semi-finalists, start journaling NOW. Record your feelings. You will thank me later when you're looking back on your own exchange experiences and feeling a strong sense of nostalgia.

My journal is my private account of life, and it's not something I'm willing to just throw out into the world for everyone to read. However, a particular passage I wrote stuck out to me while reflecting, and I've decided that it may be a good idea to share it. Read for yourself and take a step into my mind during the first 2 weeks of exchange:

Ahhhh, it really rattles my brain feeling the same emotions that I did 6-7 months ago. Let's be real here, I was a tad melodramatic in the first paragraph, but those were my raw emotions speaking at the time! I remember feeling like I had sacrificed my life for this experience... as if it were a second life or something of the sorts. But, in reality, it's another year of my life... it's simply being spent doing something I never could have imagined. Through the ups and downs, I'm having the time of my life.

And one more thing, I am STILL adjusting. You are always adjusting wherever you are in life, regardless of how long you've lived in a particular place, whether you realize that or not. That is one of the greatest lessons I've learned about life during this experience.

Until next time,
Brandon

Gong Xi Fa Cai (Happy Chinese New Year)!

Gong Xi Fa Cai, or, Happy Chinese New Year, everybody!

You may be wondering: "But, Brandon, you're in Thailand, why are you celebrating Chinese New Year?" Well, something I didn't quite realize till I arrived in Thailand and learned more about the ancestry of Thai people was that about 40% of Thai people have Chinese ancestry. Also, there are many Chinese immigrants in Thailand, especially in Central and Northern Thailand. Where I live in Suratthani, there is a significant Chinese population as well. My host family, however, is of mostly Malay origin, but we did celebrate some of the traditions of this exciting holiday!

Chinese New Year this year is celebrated today, Thursday, February 19th, 2015. It is currently late afternoon, and festivities have been taking place all day long. Tonight, there will be a large firework show down on the riverfront. Fireworks are an important celebration of this holiday. Did you know that the Chinese invented fireworks thousands of years ago?

On Chinese New Year, many businesses and homes display decorative red, gold, and white decorations and tapestries stating "good luck" or "good fortune" in Mandarin or Cantonese. Red and gold (red particularly) are considered "lucky" colors. Children often receive red envelopes of "luck money." I, unfortunately, did not receive any luck money! Those who celebrate will also place flower bouquets on the grills of their cars. Like I previously mentioned, my family doesn't really celebrate this holiday but they did celebrate with a feast at dinner! We ate Thai food, but Thai-Chinese families will celebrate by feasting on traditional Chinese dishes with friends and family ALL day. Many tangerines/clementines/oranges are also given as gifts on this day or eaten with the meals.

Many countries around the world have strong Chinese influences and therefore celebrate in varying ways. This was my experience celebrating Chinese New Year here in Thailand!

Until Next Time,
Brandon

Photo Journaling!

I recently realized that although I post pictures on my blog posts, there are many more I would like to share that do not fit with a particular post. Not everyone who comes across my glog are friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Therefore, I will start posting periodic photo journals of the random photos I take here. I hope you guys enjoy them! 

Suan Mokk Temple, Suratthani

Me, Mohk, and Ice Cream

Offering marigolds to the gods for a
happy, prosperous, fulfilling 2015

Wat Phra Mahathat, Nakhon Si Thammarat

Host grandmother's cat, "Jop"

Siamese cats actually do come from Thailand!

I painted this in my painting class!

Near my home. I love Suratthani.

Halfway

     ก่อแล้วต้องสาน (Gaaw-laaeo-dtawng-saan) (Never do things by halves).

     First of all, Happy New Year! I've reached the halfway point in my exchange. You read that right. In fact, in just a few days, I will have been here five months with only four more to go. And, I will admit, I spent so much time counting down to the halfway point as if it were the most exciting event in the world... but, in fact, now that I have made it here, I now feel incredibly nervous, anxious, confused, and really just craving more snacks from 7-11. Although it is completely validated to have those feelings - and most of us exchange students do - I'm not sure why I'm feeling those things. I suppose it's because I realize that there remains many sights to see, foreign words to comprehend, conversations to be held, life lessons to learn, and battles to be conquered that I only have four months to complete. But, don't get me wrong, the past five months have been jampacked with extraordinary experiences. Even the bad times have strengthened my character and taught me crucial lessons about life... most of the time, even more so than the great experiences.

     I do not recognize myself anymore, mostly physically (as Thailand has kicked my butt into shape). Mostly, I feel much more mature in my thinking than I did a few months ago. Something interesting I have been doing tonight is going back and reading past YES Abroad blogs, watching YouTube videos, and comparing my experiences to theirs now that I am here. I remember that pre-departure elation I possessed the entirety of Summer 2014, and how once you arrive on program, that feeling dissipates. I FELT those feelings again. It's a feeling quite difficult to explain. And, as I now chat with new YES Abroad applicants on Facebook, I realize my transformation is starting to come full circle here. I'm now sharing my experiences and advice with current applicants as current YES'ers and alumni did for me.

     The next four months will be even better than the last five. January will be a quiet month; a month where I will enjoy the last few weeks of my Thai school experience, and continue flowing through life with my host family. In February, I will travel to Chiang Mai for the AFS enrichment camp where we will ride elephants, jungle trek, shop at the night bazaar, visit a local school, and connect with each other about our experiences. I haven't seen Sarah since the September camp, or Emily and Grace since we arrived! I will also travel to Bangkok directly after the camp for another doctor's appointment. I will have a Digital-Motion X-Ray to further check out my knee. Hopefully everything checks out! Although, I just got a new knee brace that I will have to wear for quite a long time. It's actually pretty comfortable, it just limits my motion a little bit! In March, I will travel to Koh Samui with other AFS students, staff, and actually my host parents and family who will be the local guides for the trip. Should be pretty relaxing to finally visit the beaches that the island is so famous for. I should also be attending a massage camp in Ayutthaya in either March or April. In April, I turn 18 and want to go to Bangkok to celebrate, but we'll see how that pans out. Me and the other YES Abroad students would like to plan a community service trip or two for March and April, so I am excited for those as well. I will be leaving my host family on May 6th for Bangkok, where I will be taking AP tests for a week before attending the end-of-stay camp with AFS and departing for the U.S.A. on May 13th... It's mind-blowing to know this is happening so soon.

    I'm not sure how to end this post... I have conflicted emotions as stated earlier... but I guess I'll end by saying that I am extremely proud to have made it this far considering all of the circumstances. I made it past the hump of exchange - the holidays. I will always remember this experience. 

Until next time,

Brandon, Paradon, Don, or "good-smell-handsome-boy" as that one teacher at school calls me.